Finish This Sentence : "I am Single and ...."

Should it be misconstrued, let me define clearly the purpose of this blog: First, what it is not: It is not for the purpose of convincing anyone to remain single. Now, for what it is: It is to encourage singles to not be anxious enough to settle for someone just because they are dissatisfied with being single, or, because they are feeling pressured by family, friends, society or their biological clock! What I have learned and seen is, people disappoint and disappear. You may even be that person who decides that a relationship is not for you and you simply walk away or ghost them. That behavior has its place I am certain of that, however, with the world in the state it is in today, even that should be done with careful thought, prayer and consideration because you're dealing with another person's feelings and emotions. This is surely encouraged as early as you know that a relationship is not for you. As expected, things are a lot more complicated after marrying someone. 

Frankly, I am of the belief that it is best to arrive at a such a place of contentment, that you have zero tolerance for stupid games or foolishness, and sadly, there are lots of adults around that still play childish games. Love yourself enough to come to a place where you honor your body, mind and soul by putting up barriers and safeguards to protect your heart as you filter through what comes your way! Safeguards for you may not be the same for me. You must know yourself well enough to design them to fit your needs.

Identifying which type of Single you are will help you navigate your season of singleness.

Satisfied Singles - those who may have been married or never have married, but are open to the idea of marriage [again]. This single person is good either way. They are not actively seeking, but have not put up a wall against marriage.

Searching Singles - for them, nothing is more important than finding a partner! They will accept anyone that pays them a compliment. Age doesn't matter. Financial status doesn't matter (or the lack thereof).They will date anyone, even another married person, in the hopes that they will eventually leave their spouse for them. They often do marry (and sometimes multiple times) because it never works out for them and the cycle often keeps repeating itself. They don't like being alone. They can usually tolerate bad behavior and sometimes put up with dangerous behavior because they are afraid of being alone, and their inner narrative tells them that no one else will want them. They always feel as though something is missing in their life.

Selective Singles - they do not tolerate games. This group rarely discuss marriage or even consider it, unless others bring it up. Some of them may consider a partner for companionship, others are open to a long term relationship and possible marriage, but they enjoy life and all it has to offer, instead of missing out simply because there isn't someone else to enjoy it with.

Some people think being single is a curse and there is something wrong if a person can't mate up with another person. There are those (who are in bad marriages) who think being married is a curse. The idea of having to be responsible for another person's feelings, responsibilities and well-being are simply ludicrous to them. Both of these ideas are ridiculous! Nothing could be further from the truth. As a person who is not interested in marriage again, I'm not against marriage at all. I absolutely love the idea of marriage because it is God's idea. Family is God's idea and it is a beautiful thing! But nothing can be done successfully without work. It takes time, attention and intentionality to build and maintain a strong, healthy and thriving marriage. That said, there are many people who are not willing to put in the time and attention it takes to do that, and no one should be judged for their personal perspective. We as humans have been blessed with the beautiful gift of choice, and it is a privilege to be able to choose to marry or to remain single. 

"Never select someone based on cuteness, cars, clothes or cash alone. The world is full of unstable people with plenty of those things."